We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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