I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
