I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
