Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
