Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
