Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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