I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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