Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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