the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
