i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
