4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
