sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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