The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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