I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
