Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
