You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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