Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
