Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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