It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
