I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
