Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
