how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
