oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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