I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
