Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
