i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think your dad took our porno
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
