That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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