i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
