from now on my penis is your penis
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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