i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
