i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
