just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
