can we get nightvision for the apartment?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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