It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
