He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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