dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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