Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
