so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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