i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
