There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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