How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
