Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
