it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
