I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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