Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
this is an emotional support booty call
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I lost the right to judge tonight
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
