he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
