Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
