I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
