You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
