I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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