sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
